Time just needs to slow the heck down. A few months ago I had a little ball of cuddles, now I have a babe who doesn’t want to cuddle for long, but wants to move around, on the floor, allll the time. I swear she was just a baby the other day?
My poor babe crawls around the house, following me, and by the time she reaches me, I am finished doing what I am doing and I am off to the next room. It’s near impossible to get anything done, as I always have to keep an eye on her (even though she is following me, she is easily distracted by pretty much anything haha) as she moves so quickly.
The other day I was cleaning out her drawers and found some of her clothes that no longer fit. I remember the day when NO clothes fit her, now she is almost out of double zero’s. As I removed her clothes from the drawers, I had a few seconds staring at some of my favourites. I was a little sad that she will never be that little again. She will never wear these clothes again. The days and nights that I spent cot-side, at the NICU, willing her to grow, seem just like yesterday. How can she have grown so much, in what feels like a few weeks? Whilst I have been super lucky to have a ‘tiny’ baby for so long, her brain and abilities are no reflection of her size.
Though she may be tiny, her cuddles are far and few between, my tiny pocket rocket is so keen to explore and to learn about her world. How bloody amazing is that? We have these little humans and WE get the privilege of showing them the world, what is even more fun, is when you explore the world with them.
With her first birthday vastly approaching, I have definitely felt many emotions, when I take a trip down memory lane, to one year ago. This time last year, I was in & out of hospital. I was so unsure of what the future held and to say I was petrified, would be a massive understatement. The intensity of each emotion, was insane. I had created a human, my body had grown her and any day now, I was going to meet her…and who knew what that meeting would be like.
So tomorrow, instead of rushing from room to room, to get things done, we are going to explore. The washing can wait, nature is where it’s at…we’ll probably look at some flowers, put them in our mouths…along with everything else we see. Each moment, is the first and last time I will have that moment with her. Each single one is precious.