So I took a step back from the whole blogging thing, as putting yourself out there comes with a cost (as we all know). What I didn’t know, was that the cost would come from people I actually know. I am the type of Mum who is open to suggestions and help – lord knows it takes a village! I am also well aware of the fact that I do not know everything. But I have also learnt along the way that other Mums are not so open to suggestions, even if every single status/conversation you have with them is about how much they are struggling with a certain area of Motherhood. My natural instinct is to help people. I worded everything carefully and tried my best to not come across bossy/judgemental/condescending, but it still ended in me being mocked online and to my face. It hurt, but that’s cool. I searched for compassion, in my almost empty fuel tank. After searching for a while, I decided to take the easier option and send them love, from my extremely full heart. Being a woman is hard. Being a Mum is hard. Sometimes nice people do mean things. No one is perfect and we are all struggling with something. These women didn’t mean it personally, it had more to do with them than me. And just like that, I dug up some compassion…
I took a step back to assess the situation and wondered if I am actually helping anyone. How am I coming across? Like a judgemental-know-it-all? Or like someone who just wants others to learn from her mistakes and someone who wants to share any ‘secrets’ that she comes across or learns from the Mother’s who have gone before us. I know what I am trying to do and then I realised that it doesn’t matter how others perceive me – how they perceive me is their choice & is a reflection of themselves. I have no control over that.
I told one of my friends the other night that being a Mumma is hard, but one of the hardest aspects is other Mums. I am still so baffled that we can’t all just help each other? Instead of supporting one another, we criticise each other. It’s because women can be so bloody awful to each other and the nastiest ones are usually the ones that have been burnt the most.
I am just super lucky that the gems I surround myself with are super awesome women/Mumma’s, who do support and uplift each other. We help each other, we offer advice, friendship, compassion and most of all – we let each other flourish into all of the fabulous women/Mumma’s that we are – allowing and understanding that we might do things differently, but that’s cool, cos we always did shit differently, cos we aren’t clones of each other. Your sparkle shines through the way you parent – don’t let other people dull your sparkle.
I am sending you all love & compassion