I love social media, but it has has an effect on me, I didn’t know this until I deactivated my Facebook for three months.

I decided I needed a break from Facebook, just to see how my life was without it. There were some good points and some bad points. Bad points – you miss out on a lot of stuff and you are the last to know everything. I found the good points to be that I was happier, I had more time to really connect with others, your real friends call or text you and my energy was different.

People use Facebook to vent, to write status’ about people (this is such a pet hate of mine, if I see someone write a status about someone I automatically think they are an idiot), to show off, to share stuff, to be nasty and to be fake. It provides a safe haven for the keyboard warriors (which are so ridiculous?! Why are we so full of hate?). The old Facebook delete can cause all sorts of problems too, it’s like if someone deletes you they have cut you out of their life for good. I also always believe that a sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook. I have never understood why people write lovey dovey stuff on each other’s walls (apart from birthdays etc.) – like can’t you text or pm them? Why do you want us all to see this? What are you trying to prove? I also found that reading other peoples negative shit made my energy different. I don’t enjoy reading you whinge about your boyfriend (that’s private and shouldn’t be on Facebook anyway), or that you just had a fight with your Mum (another private matter) etc. I do agree that people choose to post what they want, so their lives can come across as perfect. But I also disagree with this – I choose to only post positive stuff and to praise Teina, my family and my friends, so while it might seem that I don’t fight with my family or Teina, I do, I just don’t believe that you all need to read/know about it. It’s funny tho, when people do write status’ about other people, people often brush it off by saying “Oh they’re young”, which I think is a silly excuse. My cousin is 15 years old and she would never write a status about someone, she is better than that. It always brings me back to that Destiny’s child song lyric – “You know I’m not gonna diss you on the internet, cos my Mama taught me better than that”.

I spend a lot of time on social media, even when I deactivated Facebook I have always kept Instagram. Instagram just has a better vibe, I feel. I also love snapchat. I waste so much time on my phone. My G’Ma told me once that she finds it rude when people visit her and spend their time on their phone (when she told me this I had my phone in my hand – hint much?), so I try (unsuccessfully sometimes, as it is such a habit) to not use my phone too much when I am with her, and everyone else for that matter. I am pretty hopeless, as Teina will tell you, so I am going to try and make more of an effort to actually connect with the person sitting across for me, rather than sit in silence together and connect with everyone in a total non-personal manner through my phone.

In saying all of this, Facebook has some really good points. As soon as you go on Facebook you know everything that is going on in the world. It is great for staying in touch with everyone. It was a saviour when I had Amaya – friends from my past contacted me to share their stories with me and to offer to help (bless). I could keep everyone updated with her progress, rather than informing everyone individually – which would have taken ages. It also helped me escape and pass the time as I sat next to her cot as she slept.

Basically, Facebook made me anti-social by taking my attention away from the people sitting right in front of me. While we are being ‘social’ on social media, we are disconnecting from life and the people around us. We are no longer living, but living through the social media world. I believe that social media is fantastic, if used properly and in moderation – the problem isn’t social media, it’s us.
B Xx

P.s. Amaya is asleep, so I am not on here and not connecting with her! Ha!